Anna Klussendorf

She is in my class in the art academy in Munich. Our first encounter was at the first class meeting. She was supposed to show pictures from an artist that she liked. So she came up with a post-modern Spanish artist. Forgot the name. Anyway a pretty shitty one. At least for me. So...she hanged some Xerox copies on the wall and she began to read a commentary from a book. Pretty infantile. So i began asking her questions. Why did you choused this artist? No answer. What have you learned from him? No answer. Why do you like him? No answer. Why did you showed to us exactly this works and not others belonging to this artist? No answer. What other artist do you like? Picasso...ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ok...

After a couple of months, she showed her work to the class and to our professor. This was fucking funny. She came with her father, she cooked food, she brought wine, she played some classical music, dressed with a short skirt, elegant boots, perfume all over her body...just like in a fancy gallery. Ha ha! And then we started to discuss her works. She was very arrogant, and she refused to answer our questions. Then i came into play...I said that it is not normal to be so arrogant, and she should answer our questions, because she is in the class, and we are not in a private gallery, and i said that i don't think that it is normal to act like we are just some stupid visitors at her personal exhibition. And then our professor stopped me. I don't know why....I mean...what the fuck? That was fucking disrespectful.

Anyway....after another couple of months, we gathered one evening, me, Anna, another guy from our academy, and a Japanese girl from our class. Everything seemed to be normal, we were enjoying our beers, nothing out of ordinary. At one point i said i will go home. Anna tried to stop me, at first verbal, and then she stole my lighter. If it was a normal lighter i wouldn't have bothered. But it was a special lighter for me. So i started to ask her gently for my lighter. Nothing. She began making fun of me. At one point i lost my patience. I grabbed her hand, and with a karate trick i made her to drop the lighter. I picked the lighter, and i was heading off. Near the door, i heard a scream. It was Anna. I turned my head, and in the next moment a bottle of beer was flying straight to me. Anna threw it. I moved quickly so the beer bottle missed me.In the next moment Anna was coming to me screaming like hell. She grabbed my shirt and whispered to me: I will throw you out of Germany! Take care what you are doing. That means...you fucking imigrant, i will throw you back to the shit hole from where you're coming. And i left. So, my dear Anna, this is for this episode. I thought i can make you a nice present by putting you onto my web page. Congratulations, you just won your celebrity.

But let's continue. After the beer episode, she apologized, i accepted her excuses and for a while she was calm. But then she began coming in my studio, giving me advices, how i should live my life, how i should paint, sharing her opinions about my paintings. Ha ha! I never asked her to do this. And she is not the right person to do this. She is not cultured, not educated, she is aggressive, arrogant...and she listens to Bob Dylan. She told me once that she would marry Bob Dylan...i wonder what would Bob say about this idea....ha ha!

Oh...and you should see her painting...such a good actress...she is tracing two lines, then taking 4 steps backwards and looking intensively...then again tracing two lines...and again looking and thinking...ha ha...or just looking?

Anyway...once she saw a painting on my wall entitled veritas. She asked me what does it mean. I said it it means: the truth. She looked, she laughed ironically, and then she said that it doesn't look like the truth. And then i said...hey Anna, but do you know what the truth is? Tell me what is the truth. I mean Jesus remained silent when Pilat asked him this question. So did Anna. So, if you don't know what the truth is, than how can you say that it does not look like truth? Ha ha...silence....fucking silence...

And you know what...i am not a bad person because i wrote this. I am just honest. When i see stupidity combined with arrogance...i cannot help it. And some final words from Anna: dear Anna, that time with the beer, you were lucky. You were lucky because i was fresh in Germany. If it would have happened now, in the next moment i would have called the Police saying that you tried to kill me.

I am a man, but still i never attacked somebody with a bottle. With my fists yes. With something else never. So Anna, i think you have a criminal instinct. Try to control it. Remember the time when you said that you will only do your first exhibition in the biggest gallery in Munich? Well...i wish good luck my dear.

Final question Anna: Do you like me or what?